Funeral Etiquettes

Funeral etiquette is a set of etiquette guidelines which pertains specifically to funerals and other burial rituals. It is important to remember that funeral etiquette varies between cultures and religions, and no set of rules can govern how to behave at every single funeral around the world. For people who are attending a funeral for someone who comes from a different cultural or religious background, it is appropriate to ask for advice about how to behave from someone who is knowledgeable.

Arrive on time. Being late shows your lack of respect and selfishness. Arrive no closer than 10 to 8 minutes ahead of the appointed time. If you do arrive late, be quiet in all you do. Do not hold conversations with other guests. Respectfully wait until an appropriate break in the service to enter the room to take a seat.
Turn off your cell phone. Make it a habit to check and turn your cell phone to silent, vibrate mode, or off before entering any funeral service, meeting, restaurant, theatre, or event.
Wear proper attire which means subdued, conservative clothing that is respectful to the event. Colors to avoid include red, orange, and yellow and anything that has bright and cheery flowers or other bold and loud patterns. Wear clean, neat, well-pressed clothes. The key here is to have at least one good set of clothes for occasions like these. Never wear the same old wrinkled shirt, blue jeans, flip-flops, sandals, or sneakers.
Send a message of sympathy. It is often awkward to know what to say to a parent, spouse, or other immediate family member when someone passes away. It's always nice to send a message of sympathy, whether by email, fax, or by regular mail. It shows you care and are sympathetic. Unless you are part of the family and are extremely close, do not call them... especially between the death of their loved one and any service or event being planned. It is an extremely stressful period. Emails and messages sent by regular mail are less intrusive. When expressing your feelings, be genuine with your words. Do not sound like you are using "canned" phrases copied from a commercially printed sympathy card. Among the phrases not to use are:-

It's awful, but when your time is up, it's up
I know how you feel
Be sure to stay busy, they say it is the best way through this
At least he went peacefully
Know that he's in a better place now
You must stay strong through this
This was probably a blessing in disguise rather than to continue suffering
At least he is no longer in pain
It's truly sad he died so young
Only the good die young

If you choose to bring young children to a funeral, brief them ahead of time about the importance of what they are attending. Set aside practice time to learn how to whisper and sit quietly for long periods of time---to demonstrate they are worthy to attend this important event. Bottom-line is if your child is unable to whisper or sit quietly for 30+minutes at home, it may be best to hire a babysitter for a few hours, rather than cause disturbances at the event.
As far as possible, avoid taking children to funerals. Not only because children being children will not understand the seriousness of the situation and will run around playing and demanding everyone's attention but also for psychological reasons. Seeing death at a young impressionable age can adversely affect a child. This may not only give rise to several questions in a child's curious mind but make him scared too. So it is better to leave children at home. If the tragedy has occurred in your own house, leave the kids either with one of your relatives or with neighbours where they can be looked after properly, fed on time and kept away from the mourning atmosphere. However, do explain to your child what death is and explain that aunty or uncle has gone away forever or has been called by God.
In the weeks after the funeral, check on the immediate family members to see if there's anything they need. Chances are, they're doing just fine but knowing you're there for them will mean a lot.